When your divorce doesn’t make sense

I know. I know you feel alone……. like your world has crashed. Your marriage is over. You feel like you’re drowning and straining, gasping for air. You’re confused. Crushed. Sad. Ashamed. Hurt.

Your marriage is over and it doesn’t make sense.  You are blindsided

Why me, Lord? You ask. Am I not pretty enough? Smart enough? Wasn’t I a good wife? I know that I wasn’t perfect, but neither is my girlfriend and her family is still “complete”…..Why wasn’t I enough? 

You cry yourself to sleep every night. You can only sleep if you play that worship song in the background. Your mind keeps running in a thousand different directions. You replay it all. The things he said. How he said them…… The things he didn’t say. How it doesn’t fit together……Why didn’t you pick up on the fact that something was wrong, really wrong in your marriage?

Your marriage is over and you feel out of place in all the places where you used to be one of the girls.

The women’s prayer meeting at church feels like torture…. while other voices are fervently raised, praying for husbands, you ask yourself, “which husband?”. Your marriage is suddenly over. You used to be one of those girls who laughed at others who say their marriage fell apart “all of a sudden” and “they didn’t know……”. You used to laugh and say, “yeah, right, how stupid not to know”. You’re not laughing anymore. Now….the joke is on you.

I know how you feel. Because I have been there. Confused. Hurt. Bewildered. Ashamed. How? Why? What did I do wrong? Why wasn’t I enough? Hillsong’s “You are my strength” was the only lullaby that could put me to sleep…. bloodshot eyes at work…… making excuses about “allergies”.

Your marriage is over but you are not alone!!!

Unfortunately, all over the world, there is a tribe of women, walking the same seemingly difficult, tear-soaked road that you’re on now. Some have gone before you. Many will come behind you. Some, you will know. You may even have admired their “perfect” marriage. Others will be strangers, but sisters nonetheless. You are trudging along, limping beside your fellow road-weary travelers.

You are not alone!!!!

I feel your pain. I know the sharp sting of rejection. The hurt of realizing that your marriage is over and maybe it was all a lie? The confusion of wondering “what part was real?”, “how did this happen”? We prayed together….doesn’t the family that “prays together, stay together?” We even fasted together, didn’t we serve God together? How did I end up here?

I know!! I know how you feel!! But the pain won’t last forever.

I promise! The sun will shine again! You will dance in the rain again and sing at the top of your lungs with music blasting from your car radio. You will laugh again, hope again, dream again, maybe even love again. If you just hold on to the One who will never leave you, never abandon you. The One whose love is loyal. If you just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

You’ll be fine. I promise. Just keep your eyes on the Son. And be patient. 

Recommended Reading: I read the book linked below when I was grappling with my divorce and trying to understand what happened. The authors share their experience along with practical tips to get through an unexpected divorce. I found this book very refreshing and useful.

*Please note that I may receive a small compensation from your purchase. Thank you!